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While Jeepers has the appearance of a perfectly healthy cat, his irritable bowel syndrome had baffled veterinarians for years. About 3 years ago, I finally got his condition correctly diagnosed and, about once per quarter, I’d have the unpleasant task of medicating him for about a week to “unbloat” him. Over time, his condition required less and less attention. In fact, it has been over a year now since I’ve had to do this. But it’s that time again…
Jeepers is an incredibly intelligent cat. And very psychic. It still amazes me how he always knows what’s going on — despite not having to take medicine for a few months now (I have to sedate him for travel). And no matter how discreetly I try to prepare this concoction, he can always be heard pacing the laminate floor before I even have a chance to sneak up on him. He does know it’s for his own good — you can tell. But that doesn’t mean he has to like it. He won’t allow me to give it to him orally anymore without a fight, sooooo….
Here’s how you drug a cat.
First, crush the pills into a fine powder…
A poker chip is perfect for this. In fact, I’ve been using this souvenir for several years now. It’s probably not the wisest choice, because the Reno Hilton no longer exists — which means this particular chip is worth money now. But, why buck tradition?
What next? Spoon it onto his tongue as if it were pixie stix? Yeah, right. I remember during one episode with IBS it seemed I was doing this with wonderful success. I’d spoon it in and Jeepers would look at me as if to say, “Great job, papa. This arrangement is absolutely genius.” It did seem odd to me that he seemed OK with this.
Then one day I watched him sneak off to a corner and, without any sound whatsoever, he sort of “puffed” out this magical-looking blue cloud. On to my next trick…
Doesn’t it look tasty? Trust me, it looks like Karo syrup but it’s not nearly as tasty. Unfortunately, to mix the powder in with it, I have to stir it in with my finger. The odor reminds me of the catfish “stinkbait” I remember caking onto fishhooks when I was a kid.
After mixing it all together, it’s on to the next step…
Apply to Cat…
No, he’s not smiling. That’s clearly a grimace.
Notice I put this nastiness on his chest. I used to put it on his paws, but he’d figure out how to flick it off. When I applied it to the upper portion of his leg, he devised a scheme to let it eventually drip down to his forepaw and then let it accumulate into lumps before flicking it off. Smart cat.
But I think I’ve finally outsmarted him. He doesn’t have an answer for this — yet. He’s forced to lick it off or be stuck with the sticky.
I have it on this week’s list to begin the process again of finding Jeepers a good home. I think I can be a little more hopeful here than in a city like Reno. At very least, I hope to find him a sitter for trips (and possibly even when I go to Vegas for two months to work).
Today, however, I’ll be glued to a few television sets. I’m in my fantasy football championship — GO THUNDER!