I had a simple feast. Wine and cheese and crackers. Potato salad. Pumpkin pie and cool whip. I watched football. It was good.
The mood was melancholy, however — Jeepers is still not feeling well…
The good news that he’s not scratching aggressively anymore. He is no longer coughing throughout the day. His new vet prescribed a wipe that did miracles on his skin infections. We ditched his nasty Z/D diet and switched back to his favorite — Friskies Patte.
But aside from his feedings he is very lethargic. He doesn’t play anymore. He purrs only occasionally. He still loves me to death but is spending more time in his room — looking uncomfortable and clearly feeling icky. Of course these symptoms probably have to do with the meds that keep his itching and coughing to a minimum.
Jeepers, like me, is adventurous. I feel like he’s trapped in this little body that’s breaking down and can’t come out to play, anymore. It’s not right. The thing that really tears me up is that so far, none of this appears life-threatening and yet — to me — it seems the right thing to do is put him down if he doesn’t improve. Other cat-lovers may not agree but I don’t feel my cat should not have to suffer permanently on any level. His energetic personality gone, I don’t see how I can allow this kind of existence for him much longer. This is not who he is and it doesn’t seem acceptable to me.
This is the one area of my life now that really stinks.
Fantastic Realizations and a Fun 2017 Ahead…
Despite this emotional time, I allow myself to have intermittent periods of excitement surrounding my lifestyle changes. I had an epiphany! This realization led me to do lots of figuring and, after going over and over it again, it seems can’t-miss — this full-timer is gonna’ be on one helluva’ fantastic adventure soon! Here’s what I realized:
1. I have just enough savings and enough work to really hit the road 3 months at a time when I want to. This is largely because my camping expenses are so low and because I have the ability to make money on the road with poker. By summer I should have my debt paid off and, when I really try, I can keep my monthly expenses under $1000 per month whether I’m travelling or not.
2. Additionally, work is more plentiful than I’ve allowed myself to believe. I guess it’s because my first year seeking employment here was so difficult, it’s hard to imagine I’m set up so well now — but I really am! Even if I managed to lose one of these jobs I’d be all right. Additionally, my expenses are so minimal I could even take a low-paying job whenever necessary.
3. It’s time to get in a true week-to-week adventure mode (rather than plan meticulously and then get disappointed when I can’t follow through with an entire trip). I’ve had the ability to do this but just didn’t realize it! I’d always worried about my long trip plans that could ultimately interfere with a job — not knowing if I’d get the gig and then not have enough time to get back if I did. This is nonsense! I always have 2-3 weeks notice for my Vegas jobs. Therefore, if I stay in the western third of the country, I can always get back this way easily in ten days — even with Jeepers and driving only 3 hours per day. (We’re on the 1-2-1 plan where every other stop is a two-nighter).
4. This upcoming 2017 adventure will be not only about living the dream more spontaneously again, but also one of simplifying, learning, unwinding, and self-improvement. I’m going to allow myself one more year before focusing on starting my business again. I need this time for myself to do the fun stuff — freedom, adventure, photography, and a few shots at major poker tournaments. I need one really fun year before I re-evaluate and decide which direction I need to go with RiverCat Productions. There’s time for business later — like after I pay off my debt!
I had a lot to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I hope you did, too.